Feb. 12, 2005
 

The Good, the Bad, and the Sensitive?

The first and great commandment is: Don't let them scare you. -- Elmer Davis

I thought for absolute certain (the redundancy is there for emphasis) I would get trashed for my last bit of written words on poker but except for one very acerbic comment and one short (but not sweet) phone message, I received no other feedback.

Someone, probably someone I knew in a past life, suggested I go back to writing about martial arts where the oriental ancestries believe in that esoteric mind crap. The other person, someone I definitely know, provided a long list of topics he would prefer to see and none of them included inner peace.

Writing, like poker, can be a damaging profession to the person who has a tender self image, something I could have been accused of owning at one time in my life. Once those words get down on paper (or in this case, into a word processor and onto a web site), the writer sets himself up for criticism. And the problem with writing about poker is that comments can be doubly harsh since so many people think of themselves as poker experts.

Early in my poker playing days, I was always making sure I sidestepped any potential criticism about my play because I was easily embarrassed (about my limited knowledge) and very sensitive about verbal disparagement flung at me and my inexperience. I tried very hard to be absolutely accurate, according to the books I had read. I know I played too tight; heck sometimes I would have five bets invested in a big pot and would fold on seventh street because I had read somewhere that it's better to save one bet than to contribute to a pot you are almost certain you're going to lose. I didn't want to look like a bad player by showing a weak hand!

In retrospect I realize I looked like a bad player because I folded!

I've hardened a lot since those early days, in my writing, in my poker and in my personal life, and I cannot stress enough the need to be impervious to what others think of you and what others say to or about you.

When you aren't up to the green felt, whether it's online, in a public cardroom or in some kind of home or club game, many of your opponents will be like scent hounds. They will sniff out your personality weaknesses in a heartbeat. Once they type you, you are at their mercy. They might annihilate you or chip away at you a cell at a time, but they will break you.

This is the point my friend was making when he criticized last week's article. "You," he declared, "are going to have everybody thinking you're a wuss." (He actually used the word wuss!) "And they are going to try to run all over you at the table."

Maybe you are too sensitive. Maybe you're just sensitive enough to give away too much information. If you are, go back and read what I wrote several weeks ago about being an actor at the table. You don't have to be a losing player just because you don't fit the typical profile of a successful poker player. There are ways to conquer many shortcomings. One of them is to just play as much as you possibly can until you become hardened to what your opponents are saying and can focus on what they are doing.

And remember this, despite public perception, a lot of poker players are truly nice people. Some of them are even quite sensitive.